4 expert tips to combat complaining at work

The average person complains 15 to 30 times a day – and is barely aware they are doing it, says Will Bowen, founder of the Complaint Free movement and author of A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted.

“Complaining is like bad breath,” Bowen says. “You notice it when it comes out of somebody else’s mouth, but not when it comes out of your own.”

While it is often dismissed as “blowing off steam”, Bowen argues that complaining can have a negative impact on individuals and organisations alike. 

Whether it is about a task, a colleague or a manager, chronic complaining in the workplace can create a toxic culture for employees.

“Organisations with a high degree of complaining have a lot more absenteeism, turnover, internal friction and internal factions – where people build up alliances against one another, leading to leadership struggles – as well as lower profitability,” he says.

“Customers can sense this negativity, and, as a result, they will go someplace more positive.”

Here are four expert tips on workplace strategies to deal with complaining at work.

1. Identify constructive complaints

Complaining can present – and be described by experts – in different ways, but there is a tendency to differentiate between a call to action and a complaint for its own sake, with the former considered a more constructive act. 

Bowen, for instance, distinguishes between whingeing and what he calls “a request for accountability”.

“If I have an issue with a product I purchase from a business, and I contact their customer service, that is not a complaint – that is a request for accountability,” he argues. 

“If I then whinge or gripe to my friends and family about the shoddy material or workmanship – that is complaining.”

 

"In the workplace, nothing has ever changed for the better unless someone has noticed a problem, reported the problem, highlighted a solution and enacted a change."

 

Psychologist Dr Leah Collins, a senior consultant at psychology consultancy Transitioning Well, makes a similar distinction, but prefers the terms “outcome-oriented complaining” and whingeing, which she says are “two very different psychological constructs”. 

“Complaints are generally action-focused with the view that something can be done to fix a certain situation, or at least improve on it,” Collins says.

“When complaining turns to whingeing, the narrative can become hopeless, repetitive and circular without a view to act or improve the situation. If complaints turn into a litany of ‘everything is wrong’ and ‘nothing will work’, morale can be impacted, and workplace relationships can suffer.”

2. Be proactive and solution-focused

“In the workplace, nothing has ever changed for the better unless someone has noticed a problem, reported the problem, highlighted a solution and enacted a change,” Collins says. 

However, rather than venting to a colleague, Bowen recommends taking a proactive approach to address perceived problems in the workplace.

“Speak directly and only to the person who can resolve your issue,” he says.

 

"Organisations with a high degree of complaining have a lot more absenteeism, turnover, internal friction and internal factions – where people build up alliances against one another, leading to leadership struggles – and lower profitability."

 

In these discussions, use neutral and solution-focused language. “Talk about what you want rather than what you do not want and offer whatever you can to improve the situation.”

Follow up on the issue to check what progress has been made. “Offer to connect with the person again to provide feedback as to how whatever improvements that were implemented are working,” Bowen says. 

3. Question yourself and document your findings

Collins recommends approaching feelings of dissatisfaction with curiosity and documenting the findings. 

“Two questions to ask could be ‘Why am I so bothered by this?’ and ‘What is the evidence for my dissatisfaction?’”

Write the answers down on paper, she says. 

“This strategy can help reduce the emotional component of the issue, detangle the complexity between thoughts, emotions and facts, and allow the individual to consider if there are any other variables impacting their dissatisfaction.”

4. Cut it out

In A Complaint Free World, Bowen challenges readers to go 21 days without complaining, an outcome that he says generally takes six months to achieve.

While it is not an easy undertaking, cutting out complaining benefits individuals in numerous ways.

One effect is physiological. “Studies have found that you will have less of the stress hormone cortisol in your body, which means you will feel less stressed, your blood pressure will go down, and your heart rate will slow,” he says. 

Other advantages relate to communication and the quality of professional relationships, which can translate into increased opportunities. 

“You attract people around you who are more positive and upbeat, and the conversations you are involved in are more optimistic and sanguine,” Bowen says. 

Organisations similarly benefit from a more positive discourse in the workplace, he adds. 

“You create a greater sense of harmony, and that makes everything easier, from communication to collaboration to improvements to customer service.”